By CHANTE DIONNE WARREN
Advocate staff writer
Published: Aug 9, 2010
JACKSON - Drug dealing put Walter Washington behind bars eight
years ago and separated him from his children.
The Nurturing Parenting program at Dixon Correctional Institute,
where Washington is serving time, has helped him to reach out to
his son and daughter through telephone calls and letters, showing
them the kind of love he said he missed while growing up.
"I never ever wanted to hurt my kids the way I was hurting,"
said Washington, who said he was mostly reared by his
grandmother.
Washington's father died when he was young and his mother did
not always know how to display love, he said.
Washington, 38, of New Orleans, was pessimistic initially when
he met Elain Ellerbe, co-facilitator of the program who teaches
parenting classes.
"I asked her, 'How can you teach a man how to be a man?' "
Washington said.
The answers came during sessions on being a man, learning and
teaching morals, discipline and culture and how to express love and
communicate, Washington said.
"She was reaching the men. You have to be sensitive. Your ego
must go. You have to get on the kids' level and if you teach kids
love, you have to yourself model this out," he said.
Ellerbe is chief executive officer of Reentry Benefiting
Families, an initiative of Refined by Fire Ministries Inc. She and
her husband Michael, who runs the Financial Management Overview
program for inmates and works as a corrections liaison at the
prison, said they have worked with area prison systems for 23
years.
"We're authentic and transparent and we're serious about what
we're doing. It's not about the dollars. We're committed," said
Elain Ellerbe, who once served as a program facilitator for Prevent
Child Abuse.
She said she often brings handouts and leads open discussions
with about 50 men attending the parenting classes.
Since the Ellerbes started teaching financial management classes
in 2009 and fatherhood classes in 2004, private funding and state
funding have helped to sustain the programs, Elain Ellerbe
said.
After state funding was cut in 2009, the Ellerbes' Reentry
Benefiting Families program was awarded a $25,000 grant from the
National Fatherhood Initiative.
Michael Ellerbe said the award was based on a strong
collaboration that Reentry Benefiting Families has had with the
Louisiana Department of Public Safety and Corrections through
fatherhood and parenting programs since 2004.
Many inmates who attend the classes want to learn as much as
they can in prison to avoid repeating past mistakes once they are
released, Michael Ellerbe said. "What I tell the guys is we can't
fix you, but we can give you the tools," he said.
Other inmates said they also have benefited from financial
management and fatherhood classes.
Melvin Elie, 34, has served part of his sentence for
manslaughter at Dixon. He said he has six children, two of his own
and four stepchildren.
"I took their classes to help me learn how to exercise those
resources in me," Elie said. "It allows me to close in the gaps.
I'm not taking these classes to go home early; I'm trying to learn
to better myself."
One component of the parenting program is the "Read to Me Daddy"
project in which fathers are videotaped reading books to their
children.
Elie said family members told him the children watch the videos
constantly because it helps them feel closer to him. "It helped my
relationship with my children and with my niece," he said.
Michael Ellerbe said about 20 inmates who complete the financial
management classes are eligible to get time taken off their
sentences.
"If a prisoner is trying to go back into the world, this class
should be a requirement," said Valrice Cooper, 50, of New Orleans,
who is serving the final 15 months of his sentence for
manslaughter.
Cooper said the classes taught him how to budget and live below,
not above his means. "I'd never dealt with banks or credit unions.
I needed these steps for the rest of my life," he said. "I've got
the picture now."